isa akong tuod

tuod, ka nik, isa kang matangkad na tuod.

i guess that was why i have been single for a long time. i have been too caught up in my own little world that people have been trying to connect and establish a decent relationship with me ended up frustrated and disappointed. a couple of friends have told me that i have to be a bit more reactive to what other people have been doing. i don’t really thrive in social gatherings and shit. i have always been the geek in the back of the room, figuring out how to stare at God’s face. i have my social graces, but not enough to be intimate.

they told me that i'm intimidating. i never knew that being a nerd would be intimidating. i very much look intellectual and serious, like the type of no-bullshit guy that everyone hates. i have to agree though, i'm very grumpy when i'm not comfortable with the people i'm with. it's one of my negative "silhouettes." they told me that if i want to be in a serious relationship, then i have to treat people fairly. that means even if i'm not necessarily attracted to a person. i still have to smile and be accommodating. i'm no theater artist though.

i have expectations and walls double my height, yep, that's how high they are, and i'm freaking 5'11'' by the way. apparently, some people have tried to traverse my wall, but they got frustrated even more because beyond that wall is another wall, and again double the height. 

such intricacies of dating whether girls or guys are far too complicated for my brain. 

i seem to have learned alot last night, heck i don't even know where to start.

isa pala akong tuod, walang kwenta.