Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Gravity

You know what's funny?

My life is.

Just kidding. It's been a while since I've written on my blog and it feels good to finally revisit some of the pages I used to read. Things have changed so much that I don't recognize the writing of the people I follow, although I know most of them are in a better place than I am. Not that I didn't improve as well. A ton of events happened from last year up to now and I'm still reeling it all in.

A breakup, failing twice for a promotion, my mom getting sick. Quite colorful ain't it?

That's all been said and done. I'm moving on or at least still trying to. I mean, for the most of parts of my daily life I'm okay, but I can't help but think that what if this is my destiny? Will I ever have the things that I've been dreaming of? It's not that I'm not trying but these things, they get to you. Definitely, not the end of the world, but I can't help but feel there's so much more that I can do.

But you know, every once in a while I still try to log in and read some of the stuff on my timeline. And lately, my hands have been itching to write. So here I am at this dingy computer shop writing my heart out.

I tried dating again. Lo and behold, I flopped like fish out of water. Haha. It's not for me I guess. But I still believe that someday, I'll stop being a potato and start winning at the game. Well, love is a losing game anyways.

I almost got promoted twice. Almost.

And then my mom got sick again. The more that I feel the pressure as the breadwinner hence I the want to earn more. And I guess, its one of the reasons why I'm still here and why the single life is beneficial for everyone in my family. It sounds like a bullshit reason but I'd do anything to keep my mom healthy. Have I turned into an adult now? I don't know. I still feel underhanded and heavy and the road keeps on telling me to go on. I have to.

It's soothing to see how most of the blogs I follow are still active and still there. This side of the internet has a very special meaning for me. It still feels like home. Given that other bloggers may have logged off permanently, this blogosphere is my safe zone.

I may have gone off the radar, but hey, something always brings you back to where you belong.