Saturday, February 25, 2012

Sensory Overload pt.2


"Ah ano candy?"

"Basta!!! Halika na, masarap to. Ang init eh." There was this glint in his eyes that just tells me to give in.

But my body heeded the call. It was like I was entranced by the pied piper of Hamelin.

I went inside their house, he invited me over to their couch. He turned on the fan and turned on the TV. I was sweating like a pig.

"Pawis na pawis ah. Hehe." AGAIN THAT SMILE AND TONE.

"Init eh... Hay..."

"Tamang tama... Eto oh..." Then things went on a total disaster.

Next thing I knew was, he was sucking. I was also sucking. It was long and hard. It was ecstasy. It was intense. It was totally unexpected. It got me pinned down and I was on full surrender.

"Sarap ba?"

"Ay naman... Kulang pa?"

"Oo eh, gusto ko he was begging for more. OH MY FUCKING GOD

"Eh wala na ko barya. 3 pesos lang pera ko."

"Ay bitin pa ko... Libre kita..."

He pulled out more Ice Pops.


Turns out, he was a new neighbor. He doesn't know I'm gay. He thinks I'm straight and shit. Well that's because I never go out of our house ever since I bloomed into a full blown flower. And when I do go out, I made sure I walked with swag so no one would ever dare ask me questions.

I don't know if he knows this but he's being all too delicious. LOL!

He was an engineer, he's about my age, he plays basketball and volleyball. He just wanted to make new friends. Well I'm not exactly that friendly especially around our neighborhood, but I made an exception. LOL.

Anyways, there was nothing, really. It was just a weird car accident that happened.

The summer heat has seeped inside my brain and melted it like ice cream.

Sensory Overload

It was hot as hell when I woke up. I was covered in sweat and so was my sheets. It felt different that day, like some sort of a weird car accident waiting to happen.

I went down to do Yoga and my morning routine. I prepared a bowl of oatmeal and bananas for breakfast. I tried to turn the TV on but to no avail, it didn't. I checked on my electric fan, it wasn't working either. Dad forgot to pay the electric bill and our service got cut before I even woke up.

I lied on the couch and manually fanned myself. It wasn't working. I thought to myself: maybe a bath will do the trick. And so I did.

I wore a very loose shirt and very short boxers. It was sort of a relief but I found myself fanning again after an hour.

Then I decided to get out of the house. Quite the wrong move actually. It was friggin' hotter outside with the sun beaming down me like there's no tomorrow. I had to wear longer shorts because my legs would stun everyone in the outside world. I looked for shade, I ran to the store.

To my amazement, the guy who was manning the store was cute. He was short, fair and had a very nice set of teeth. He has this very confident air about him and he knows it. Fuck, he's cute!!! Then the weirdest thing DID happen.

"Ano bibilihin mo? Ang init init ah. Ano gusto mo?" in a very you-know-you-want-me-or-it kind of way while he was sheepishly smiling.

I was speechless, I didn't know how to react. I WAS STUMBLING. For someone who deals with all sorts of people and for someone who has swagger, I was failing.

"Ah wala naman... Meron bang palamig? Haha..." I was trying to feel my pockets if I had any change with me. I had  about 3 pesos?

Then, he nodded. He stared at the very puzzled looking kid(me) and began to smirk.

"Halika dito, may iaalok ako sayo." he was smirking like he is on to something.


"Uh, thanks na lang. Uuwi na ko. Naputulan kasi kami ng kuryente. Hindi nabayaran ni Daddy eh. Mukang tanga lang ako sa bahay." Woops... Why was I telling him details about my life?!!!

"Ah, san ka ba nakatira? Marunong ako mangalikot ng mga kuntador. Tatanggalin ko lang yung wire na kinakabit para tumigil yung ikot ng metro." He seemed to become more interested with the fact that we had no electricity. Oh good...

"Ay wag na po, pinabayaran ko na kay Daddy yun. Baka magkaroon na kami ulet ng kuryente."

"Naku nag cut-off na kaya, baka sa Monday pa ikabit ulet yan."

"Ah ganun ba? Hmm, eh wala ako pangbayad sayo. Wala parents ko, tsaka pumasok sa school mga kapatid ko."

"Hindi sige okay lang yan, mahilig lang talaga ako mangalikot... Hehe..." That just sounded so wrong on many levels...

He called on their house-help to man the store for him.

So I decided to let him tinker with the meter. We live in an apartment handed down by my paternal grandmother and the meter was not inside the house per se, so I guess it was quite safe. I think he might kill me or steal something inside our house or worse, HE MIGHT RAPE ME...(?)

I went inside the house to check if the service was back. I tried to switch the lights on, it flickered and turned off again. CRAP!!!

"Putangina, nawala, ano na nangyari?!" I yelled

"Try mo i-reset yung circuit breakers sa loob ng fuse box niyo."

"Okay...?" I panicked because I have no idea where our fuse box is. I just thought, I'll just tough it out. I don't want to invite him inside our house.

"Nahanap mo ba?"


"Pasok ako ha, tulungan kita..." and he came barging in while I was holding on to my flashlight like it was a sword.

He found the fuse box inside our cupboards, only he wasn't able to reach it... HA!!! LOOK AT YOU NOW Mr. HIGH AND MIGHTY. So, in the end, I was able to reset the circuit breakers and the electricity was running again. Thanks to my height advantage over him. I felt more macho than him. Nikki - 1, Him - 0.

"Wow, ikaw na matangkad." He commented.

"HAHAHA, pungok ka lang." I laughed out.

"Salamat ah, nanglait pa. Ikaw na nga tinulungan."

"Aw, sorry dude. Haha." Then he disarmed me again with that smile.

"Oh dapat bayaran mo na ko. Penge ako tubig."

"Hindi kaya malamig, nawalan kaya kami ng kuryente..." I said sarcastically.

"Ay oo nga, punta ka muna sa tindahan namin. Libre mo ko. Hehehe." WAIT WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

"Ha?! 3 piso na lang pera ko. Sabi ko sayo wala akong pambayad.

***to be continued***

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Bohemian Bellaroca

Summer is fast approaching, there's already this slight hint of sultriness in the afternoons. Something inside of me is welling up fast and tumultuous.

Everything about summer feels so lively and energetic that I feel light and airy myself.

My friends and I are planning to get a vacation in Bellaroca. In fact, we already thought of it last year, it's just that we didn't have enough money that time. I just had left work about a year ago. Now, I am making sure that I do get to a beach, even if its not in Bellarocca. Just any beach outing/weekend would do.

I just miss the sand under my feet, shifting and sliding. The ticklish searing heat of the sun on my "anemic" skin is a treat too.

Speaking of which, I need to go and get my summer bod again. I need to call on my Anorexia Nervosa and the willpower to jog, do some Yoga poses and a 30-minute toning workout. It's like preparing for a casting call and photoshoot again, but honestly, I just want to go to a beach where I can swim without being called "Marshmallow."

Last summer, Boracay was spectacular. I wasn't able to enjoy it fully though because I had to take care of my cousin(and the gadgets.) I just spent the whole 3 days walking to and from our hotel in station 2, to the grotto and then back again. Imagine this: it's like walking down on a runway, only to find out there are guys(?) who look better than you while you just parade around like you don't give a fuck.Went on Facebook to update and post pics, got my hair done in cornrows, rode the banana boat, went on a weird trip around the island. I got to drink, but not party. No fooling around, no silly business. My kind of thing actually.

I now have the motivation to earn: to be on a vacation on my own means.

The question is, who's gonna go with me?

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Shit that Nikki says

Been quite busy these past 2 weeks. I had to man my upscale halo-halo station for my sister's research project. The aim was to be like Ice Monster or Cerealicious, but the people around our neighborhood are not well versed with those kind of products. At the end of the week, we lost about 178.30 pesos in capital. It's a flop, but we (especially my sister and her group mates) learned a lot.

I also applied at JP Morgan and Chase and got declined within the day. Fantastic. I kinda realized that the I would wither away with the daily commute to their office. I think of it as a blessing in disguise (yes this is me not being bitter about it).

Then I helped out with my granny's 75th birthday. Talk about a party with "she-bang." We bought lechon, pichi-pichi, cake, ice cream. We cooked fried chicken, spaghetti, pansit palabok, maja blanca, and an assortment of grilled fish. We rented out a karaoke machine. I sang my heart out - I got freaking 100 when I sang Dynamite by Taio Cruz and freaking 87 when I sang Animal by Neon Trees, which I think is so wrong. We drank 5 different bottle of white wine. Happiness. I got into a tickle fight with my cousins, then they inevitably puked afterwards from too much laughing.

Did I say I drank a lot of white wine? When the party ended, I ninja-d my way back to the karaoke machine and sang more songs.

I guess, when I'm doing a lot of things, that's when I feel contented. I can feel the grip of loneliness and depression unfasten on me. I feel lighter and happier when I'm constantly on the move. Maybe all I needed was a diversion from all the spare time of brooding and self-pitying. And I felt a kind of release when  my mom finally read my letter.

Am I gonna be writing my own version of Eat, Pray, Love now?

Heck no.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012


Ah well, they sure are prompt when answering their emails.


I was really banking on this one too...

Darn it!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Kakayanin Ser!


*note time and date of screenshot LOL

Saturday, February 11, 2012


Inside the majestic National Shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes
So yeah, I went to our annual "Panata" of attending the grand procession with my high school friends. I forgot to bring my digicam so the pictures are eew.

Back when we were in high school, it's an obligation to attend the grand procession. It counts as an absence on your records if you didn't attend it.

Me and my friends have developed the habit of doing it annually. I can't explain why, but we enjoy walking, uttering the rosary and catching up with each other's lives in between.

I remember wearing leather shoes and my aching feet after walking 3 hours nonstop. We were required to wear our school uniform, because technically it was a school function. But when we got in college, we still did it, of course we were wearing more comfy clothes. I don't know we like to make ourselves suffer by doing it over and over again every year.

Maybe because when I was in high school, I was happy. There is no comparison to it versus college life and the life after college.

I got home a few minutes before 12 midnight. The procession started around 6pm and was finished around 9:30pm. We ate at our favorite McDonald's in D.Tuazon around 10pm, had ice cream sundae in Jollibee Mayon around 11pm.

I feel fulfilled even though my legs and knees feel like jello.

Fun day indeed. :)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Time Capsules

I wanted to put songs in my new iPod. The old one got recalled and replaced by Apple. I got this email telling me that the 1st gen nano's have some program glitches that's why they are replacing them. I got my 1st gen 5 years ago, it only had 1gb of memory and since it served its purpose for 5 years, the battery life sucks. I named my first nano Haven.

Haven became my companion when I was still in college. I filled her up with my collection of JPop songs, but most importantly, my archive of Utada Hikaru's songs. I had her full discography inside Haven. It's like I'm traveling with my handy paradise every time I slap on my earbuds and listen to my favorite songs.

When I had my Nokia E63, I had to give Haven to my little sister. I remember backing up all of the songs in a flash drive before handing her over to my sister. I also made sure that I had the original CD's, that I have stopped eating lunches back in college just to buy them. So I guess, I had about 3gb's of JPop songs when I graduated college. Back then, I think I had the most diverse and complete collection among my JPop friends.

When I graduated, I got my E63 and gave Haven to my sister. She immediately reformatted Haven, I cringed for a bit, but I know I backed up all my music in a flash drive. I also gave my sister E63 when I got my new phone that I've worked hard for. Hand-me-downs are how we survive. LOL.

I got this email from Apple, I checked it out and it seemed legit. So yeah, I asked my sister to give Haven back so I could use it again, since she already has a phone that could store and play music. I sent Haven without the data cable and the earphones. They just asked for the unit.

I got my new nano back 2 days ago. I got it without any accessory or whatsoever. It looked very shiny and the controls are already touch-based. It's tinier than ever. It has 8gb's of storage and it's super cute. I named her Parlodel, because I'm crazy.

I wanted to put songs in Parlodel. I tried to look for my archives, but yeah, I can't find it anymore. Our house has this innate ability to make things disappear when it gets stored somewhere inside this tiny apartment, just like my diplomas.

I almost cried silently out of sheer disappointment and anger.

All of the hours of searching and downloading, all of the lunch money that I didn't spend on lunch, all the trouble of labeling, sorting and backing up each of my 2,000+ songs just went poof. I couldn't find the CD's nor the flash drive.

I felt like a part of me just got forgotten and abandoned. The songs that got me through college just vanished amidst all the junk and years of hoarding things inside our house.

Those songs were my bread and butter each and everyday of my college life. I have much respect and love for the artists that became my inspiration. And then I just can't find them anymore. 10 years of Japanese Pop, Rock and Visual Kei, I survived college because of them.

I am frustrated because some of the songs that I had were very hard to find and then SOPA would just make it impossible to search for them now. I'll just do my best to bring back whatever that I can still find.

I'll just rebuild my time capsule and make sure I would find it again one day when I feel the need for it.

Lesson learned, I guess.

And Parlodel just almost had her first fall last night. UGH!!!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Weekend Fail

Last Friday, me and a friend tried applying for a job at JP Morgan & Chase Co. in Bonifacio Global City. Apparently, the one who referred us to her company gave us a very inaccurate scheme on how to get there without fuss. So I tried my best not to get lost. Halfway through, we just lost our way and ended up traversing the whole of McKinley from EDSA to the recruitment hub.

I was tired as fuck after we have traveled literally on foot. Thank heavens, my friend decided to treat me to dinner just to console me. I could have bitchslapped her then and there, but yeah, I kept calm and poised as always (Although, I was sure I threw a few cusses and swears at her at some point when I was frantically calling her non stop.)

After a very brief dinner date with her, the "referror," we opted to go and chill out somewhere (Tomas Morato, duh?!). P came by and we played DoTA yet again. We went home tired and frustrated that night.

Saturday night, I went with P to a blogger meet up. Met up with the very animated group of bloggers at Harbor Square in CCP Complex. Ate dinner at KFC (yes, because we're very posh) and headed to Starbucks. After we finished our "drinks" they wanted a different kind of drink and honestly I was game for it after all the fail I went through last Friday.

So yeah, we headed to Malate. I was expecting that it would be fun and all, but oh dear, I think my jaw dropped 20 times. (O-bar, that pink ominous sign...) Then P was a little uncomfortable and then we decided to pull away from the group. We had to cut the fun short and we had to apologize for being party poopers, but it wasn't our kind of thing.

Yeah, P and I like to go to bars but not the kind where there are gyrating half-naked bodies all around and there are the judging eyes. I have the innate ability to be oblivious to all the unwanted attention but P is just not comfortable with the whole set up. So there, we had to go somewhere else.

We strolled around the shady parts of Manila, I was scared for dear life. We decided to back to Tomas Morato and play DoTA as usual. 4 fucking rounds and we didn't even win a single one. GODFUCKINGDAMMIT!!!

Oh well, weekend fail indeed.

On a lighter note, I am gonna sell Halo-Halo for my sister's research project. 200 bucks per day for only 5 days, not bad right?