Tell me your poison.

One of the reasons why I stay away from blogging sensitive topics, is that when I do, it's like opening a Pandora's Box. I feel like I've just spit out my heart and guts for everyone to see.

There's this feature you can activate, where you can get asked by someone on Tumblr, anonymously or not. And when I did, all hell broke loose and

Here's a screen cap

When I published this question from an anonymous source, I got a ton of Tumblr Asks and all of them came from anonymous sources.

Questions ranged from LGBT rights to how do I deal with same-sex relationships, to even skin care. I don't know if those anons are seriously reading my blog or they just want to set me up and see me fail. I still love Tumblr though. Anonymous TA's scare the shit out of me and sprains my brain sometimes.

I swear, last night, my brain did a back flip and a cartwheel trying to answer my anons truthfully and tactfully.

The Wonderful Misadventures of Danforth Thackeray

My washing machine bailed out on me. It just stopped working and started spewing soap bubbles. Mom would prolly get mad at me for breaking it, but I don’t care. I’m having fun with these bubbles.

Such a show of bravery from a marked prey. I know mom would rip me to shreds later.

If only life was as easy as blowing bubbles.

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A week after my mom and I set up a new branch for our marketing group, we had to stop operations due to internal problems. Our business partner had issues with the leasing of the office space. So I basically moved 2 steel cabinets from our old office to this new one and then back again. I was also wondering how I was able to do it without getting squished by those heavy cabinets that was as big as me.

So yes, I'm back to being a bum again. Nothing new.

Hello dirty dishes and laundry, I have come back for you. We shall now be together forever.

And just in case you guys are wondering, Danforth Thackeray is my British alter-ego.

Samedi et Dimanche

Last Saturday, i had 3 events to go to; the Tumblr MUMUL at MoA, my ex-wave mates pre-Christmas dinner at Glorietta 5 and my annual high school reunion. Honestly, I didn’t expect to have all three events in one night. If I could split my body into 3, I would definitely have no problems, but yeah, no can do. I had to tough it all out, in one night.

I met up with Avery and Gelo in BK Rotonda around 6pm. We got to MoA around 7-ish.

So there, we were expecting the other bloggers to be inside Starbucks. Avery got really frantic when there was no one inside, we only saw Marlon.

Apparently, they all went near the skating rink and we had to search for them. Fortunately, we saw them (Onny, Dale, JC, Ghen, Adee, Jed, Nikko, Kyo and I forgot schizotypical’s name, FML) … in a quaint little circle. So there, we said our hi’s and hello’s, I helped Avery look for a venue because Starbucks was full of social climbing people.

Congo Grille it is… I suspected alcohol and it didn’t fail me. YES! And then Ade and Noah came along.

2 bottles of San Mig Light. Rapture!

here’s the part where Nikki gets all tipsy

Gelo, Marlon and I decided to go already. Gelo had to go because he also has an event to go to the next day, Marlon was tired and I had to go to Makati.

I was calling my friends while we were on the bus. They said they already left. I almost died.

I headed straight to my friend’s house since I wasn’t able to go my ex-work mates pre-Christmas Dinner.

I got in and there was Kahlua, Red Horse, Bailey’s and Cuervo. I managed to solo the Kahlua. Drunkard much? Not really. Happy times.

I went home around 8am because the people in the party were falling down one by one like flies sprayed with Baygon.

I opened the telly when i woke up and BOOM, Sendong killed 700 people in just one night.

Was this some kind of a sick joke?

The Trolls Never Get Trolled Back

I received a text from someone. I really thought that it was from my high school classmate. His number was registered for someone I know very well.

He began asking me weird rumors. He asked me if I was with someone. Apparently, rumors were circulating that I was dating someone from college who was allegedly closeted (which I also am). Sadly, those were just rumors.

He began asking me for my iMessage account. I don't have one. I don't use an iPhone or an iPad. His texting pattern is also different from what I know; it was more intrusive than the friend that I know. I started to be skeptical about his identity.

So yeah I answered him truthfully and now he knows I swing both ways. Tsk, I never wanted him to find out because he is one of the people that I don’t really trust. Good thing I didn’t tell him everything and good thing I found out he wasn’t my high school classmate or I might have told him everything. It turns out that he was the one that we "outed" shamefully back in college (well, it wasn't our fault that he sold his phone to our classmate and when we tinkered with it, it had a ton of gay porn in its memory card). I don't know if this was his plot of revenge or whatever.

I am now beginning to doubt if it was a case of mistaken identity or he really does want to “out” me. Too bad, I’m still witty and I successfully maneuvered myself out of that pinch.

I asked him how he got my new number, he just answered that I texted him once. If my memory serves me right, I never texted him anything after I’ve changed my numbers. Hmmm...

Psych wars? Ha, its one alley he'll never beat me.

One thing I don't really understand is that how did his number show up as my friend's number.

dude, I’m sorry but I’ll tell it to people I only trust since it’s just been like 5 months since I’ve started dating guys. You’ll get hints from me but not the whole story yet.

Sorry brah.

You can never out-troll me.

Past The Point Of No Return

Phantom:
Past the point of no return
No backward glances
Our games of make-believe are at an end.
Past all thought of if or when
No use resisting
Abandon thought and let the dream descend
What raging FIRE shall flood the soul
What rich desire unlocks it's door
What sweet seduction lies before us?
Past the point of no return
The final threshold
What warm unspoken secrets
Will we learn
Beyond the point of no return?

Christine:
You have brought me
To that moment when words run dry
To that moment when speech disappears
Into silence
Silence.
I have come here,
Hardly knowing the reason why
In my mind I've already imagined
Our bodies entwining
Defenseless and silent,
Now I am here with you
No second thoughts
I've decided
Decided.
Past the point of no return
No going back now
Our passion-play has now at last begun.
Past all thought of right or wrong
One final question
How long should we two wait before we're one?
When will the blood begin to race
The sleeping bud burst into bloom
When will the flames at lust CONSUME us?

Both:
Past the point of no return
The final threshold
The bridge is crossed
So stand and watch it burn
We've passed the point of no return.

Phantom:
Say you'll share with me
One love, one lifetime
Lead me, save me from my solitude
Say you want me
With you here
Beside you
Anywhere you go
Let me go too
Christine that's all I ask of

Care Givers (Care Divas)

Last friday night, i got 2 complimentary tickets for Care Divas, since i have connections to PETA now. So i grabbed one of my friends to go and watch with me. It was my first time seeing a play in PETA theater, i was really excited. We got in a bit late though, we didn't see the grand opening of the play. We sat at the VIP box, of course. Haha.

So yeah, the play was about 5 gay Filipino Caregivers who met and worked in Israel. They're not only caregivers but they sometimes do production numbers and shows in bars and clubs dressed as women. Their group was named as "The Nightingales" because the inspiration was Florence Nightingale. It came to a point where one of their members was laid-off and became an illegal alien, much like a TNT. Anyways, im not gonna write the whole plot of the play since i would be a big spoiler.

So yeah, the whole play revolved about the lives of those guys. Tackled about the whole reason why Pinoys choose to be OFW's and how hard life is when you're a thousand miles away from home. It was hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time. I find it relevant because i'm a nurse and pretty soon i'll be leaving Philippines too. Oh well, i'm pretty much sure that i won't be performing like them nor dress like them. But i find it funny that they are more accepted in Israel than in the Philippines. Tsk.

Voyeur

i usually go out with my friends, i seldom meet-up with people i don't really know. we hang out at nearby coffee shops and pubs.

so we went inside the coffee shop, got our drinks and got seats upstairs where we can be noisy and crazy. we were getting comfy and laughing, but there was this weird fella who went up alone. he sat at the table next to us. we didn't mind him at first, but we kept on surfing the net, eating, and drinking. this weird guy was taking glances at us. i don't know if it was me or if it was my friend who he was eyeing.

we stayed there for about 3 hours and the guy also did, still covertly taking glances at us. i decided to confirm my gut feeling. i asked V to go outside for a bit. V is one of my best friends from college, we reviewed for our NLE together and heck, we even do photo shoots together. she's a pretty gal, but not so bright, i still love her though. so we went down, we whispered just in case the creeper might have followed us.

N: "V, nakikita mo ba yung guy sa tabi natin? kanina pa siya tingin ng tingin."

V: "ha? oo. kanina pa. ano ba problema?"

N: "hindi ka ba natatakot? hindi naman natin siya kilala eh, kung maka tingin parang walang bukas."

V: "haha, ayaw mo nun? gusto ka ata eh."

N: "gaga kang babae ka, lalaki yun, pano magkakagusto sakin yun? ikaw yung tinitignan no."

V: "eh di dapat tinitigan ko din. nahuhuli ko kaya sayo nakatingin. gwapo naman siya ah."

my hunches were right and i couldn't reply anything. ninerbyos na naman ako.

N: "naman eh, kelangan i-emphasize na gwapo? eh tignan mo, nakakatakot, mukang stalker."

V: "sige ayaw mo? ako lalapit dun at magtatanong. akin na lang yun, muka pa namang Bi."

N: "sige, pag yan killer, mababalitaan na lang kitang naitak yung leeg sa TV."

V: "gago! napaka-praning mo. hindi lahat ng tao masama ang intensyon okay?"

N: "haha, sigurista lang kasi beb. umakyat na tayo, baka bumaba si loko. kunin ko lang yung netbook ko tpos CR lang ako."

V: "sige ako rin, naii-ihi na ko."

we both went up, V got her bag and went for the little lady's room, i packed my netbook and went to the little boy's room. when i went out to wash my hands, he was in the front of the sink. FUCK!

"uh excuse me, can i use the sink for a while?"

he smiled back and said, "yeah sure! here you go." i just smiled back and washed my hands.

"my name's Chuck by the way."

"oh, well my name's Nik."

"your friend is really pretty. are you guys going out?"

"...uh no."

"oh that's good to hear then! see you around Nik!" he went off and was never to be seen again.

my heart skipped a beat. i was panicking, i just had enough control over my sympathetic nervous system that i didn't tremble. i guess V was right then. DAMN! who knew? i really have no idea about flirting. like i've said, i'm a tuod i never let my shields down. i think i failed big time.

the guy looked very filipino. he had big brown eyes, a prominent jaw line and he was about 5'8'' in height. not my cup of tea, but definitely piqued my interest. 

i'm such a failure, yes?
*insert theme music: Norah Jones - Don't Know Why

Dry spell

i like my summer this year. i had gone out to the beach, swam and snorkeled, rode a banana boat, ate tons of good food. quite a drastic change for a geek like me. i never even thought that i would have so much fun this summer. but yeah, all good things must come to an end.

i met someone through a friend, we hanged out and dated the whole of summer. i like him and he likes me, but there's just something that we couldn't get out of the way. there's just this feeling of stagnation, but yeah, no one ever dared to take it up a step higher. so now, were just hanging out, like friends. there are just those awkward moments when our common friend throws jokes at us. i don't think it will progress though, i'm too cautious, he's too post-modern.

so i guess, there just no chance for me breaking this dry spell. i think i'll not fret about it anymore, the world of genetic engineering is waiting for me. i'm about to become the first ever Filipino genetic engineer. :)