Wednesday, May 11, 2011

marine biology

I’ve always wanted to learn and explore the life that I haven’t had. I wanted to join this dating site named Planet Romeo or PR in acronyms. I haven’t had a slight idea of what to expect in PR, it’s just that it was for the LGBTQ community. I’ve been a member for almost 8 months (?) now and I’ve seen and learned something new every time I log in. First of all, there is no L in this community. Secondly, thou shall not go unprepared, which I had done and have regretted pathetically. Lastly, in the vast number of members there, you can find what you’re looking for, you’ll just have to look and wait patiently and meticulously.

PR is known as the “The Great Blue Website,” it has this signature blue theme that really feels like the sea. I joined PR to learn the ways of the fishes and learned I did. I’ve seen a lot in such a short span of time, I’ve even made my own biological list of the organisms in that biome. I’ve also taken notes from the ones that I’ve made friends with. So here’s my short list of the living things that I took note of while diving into “The Great Blue.”

  • Dolphins – these are the guys that use their brains instead of their dicks. Some look cute and some are actually good looking. They’re friendly and accomodating if you understand what they are saying. Some are elitists and wannabes; some are also jerks. I even saw a cocky dolphin, but he resembled like Empoy in real life. QUE HORROR! They have great pride with their intellect. They swim in numbers usually, very mafia to say the least. They believe that brains are sexier than muscles, in which I also agree. They tend to attract other dolphins and the narwhals. They are abundant in number; you just have to approach them appropriately. They are quite a good catch if ever you get to hook one. You might have to adjust to their way thinking though; they can play you like a marionette if you’re not careful enough.
  • Narwhals – it’s a cross between a dolphin and a unicorn. Think of a dolphin with a long horn on their foreheads. These are the guys that look good in an awkward kind of way and have brains to boot. They are a sight to see, much like the real narwhals of the arctic. These guys are rare and treasured catches. They tend to be loners though, very elusive. They love to be in tight groups, but they love to socialize every now and then.They are very vulnerable and they tire easily, sharks prey on these guys a lot. These guys are loyal; they don’t split from their significant other once they have one. These are the most interesting creatures in “The Great Blue.” I’d like to believe that I’m a narwhal, but I don’t think I look good enough to be one *cough cough* moving on…
  • Sharks – these are the guys that are aggressive and certainly out for blood. They know what they want and will certainly do everything they can to have meat. They range from buffed guys to adonis himself. The most superficial of all the creatures in the niche. They will pounce on innocent dolphins and narwhals or have fights with whales. They are also very territorial and will encroach on their possible victim. They are intellectual, but not like the narwhals and the dolphins, which makes them even more lethal. Plus, once they get tired of their prey, they’ll drop them off like a hot potato, or in this case, chum. Some of them hunt in packs, but they usually end up in the arms of each other. These guys are also good catches if you like your guys rough and savage. Its kinda fun seeing 2 sharks in the same room, you’ll definitely see sparks and sex instantly. Oooh la la!
  • Whales – like how the real whales are known for, these whales are known for their blubber. These are the gentle giants who are swimming to find companionship. They somehow attract mermaids and kelp to them, but their usual diet is composed of shrimps. They are rich, intelligent, cute guys, but they are not popular due to their built. They somehow get into conflicts with sharks a lot. They usually want the sharks, but the sharks are too superficial to notice that. Instead they settle for the shrimps that would benefit from their money. Its quite sad seeing these gentle giants just taken for granted. They are good catches; you just have to look deeper into their blubber.
  • Turtles – the aging populace of “The Great Blue.” They are usually the most stable of them all, some are even married. These guys love to be in the company of the dolphins. They look good in an aged Brad Pitt kind of way. They love intellectual talks and coffee. Maturity is their main weapon of choice. They are actually attractive because they know how to take care of themselves, meaning they aged gracefully. Since they experienced almost everything already, they are like sages, always full of knowledge and insight. They are definitely worth the wait and they are highly prized.
  • Shrimps – these are the headless guys of the “The Great Blue Website.” Headless in a sense that they have no brains and that they have no face value at all. These are usually the ones being harvested for porn and online sex trafficking. They are the usual preys of mermaids and kelp. They’re very itchy and they love sex, all kinds of sex. Most of them joined PR to find potential customers for their “special” massages and service. Typically nocturnal and highly interactive. They are as aggressive as the sharks but all they can offer is their bodies. They love to prey on whales a lot, luring them with something the sharks are not capable of. They range from buffed bods to emaciated kids. These are not worth catching if you want something substantial.
  • Mermaids – the guys that are now girls. It’s as simple as that. Weird thing though, some of them are top. I wouldn’t wanna know why. They tend to attract the whales, usually trick them, but not all of them are evil.  Some of them are nice and very pretty, some are downright nasty. They love to be in the limelight a lot. They are very showy and very flamboyant. Mystical, magical and memorable, yes. They spent a whole lot of investing on themselves that they forgot to invest on others. Mermaids and whales are the 2 most tragic creatures in “The Great Blue” maybe that’s why they tend to attract each other. They’re not as rare as the narwhals or the turtles, but they are still a good catch if something mythical is what you’re looking for.
  • Oysters – these guys are the ones who are not open. In short, closet gays. They’re also elusive, because they have a secret they don’t want the world to know. Paranoid and defensive at some point. They are the ones that deny the issue, but everyone already knows that they are indeed gay. They will open up at some point. Some of them look cute, handsome even. They just need a bit of a nudge and some booze to loosen up. They carry a pearl inside, which is why they are not opening up. They have a tough exterior but they are pretty much vulnerable and defenseless inside. Much like the narwhal, but they have a better defense mechanism than narwhals. They are treasured because what they have inside is beautiful.
  • Kelps – the vilest creature of them all. They will drown, entangle and suffocate you until you die. They are the ones who are sexually superactive and some of them harbor diseases. These are usually the ones who will drug you and date rape you. They thrive in numbers and they will pull you to your miserable death if you ever get tangled into these. They look good and they are quite intellectual, pretty much like a shark. They can disarm you with their charm, but once you get tangled with them, it’s bad prognosis for you. Sharks and Kelps are a good match if you ask me; they’ll both kill each other! Blood for everyone!

These are just some of my hypothetical creatures living inside the “The Great Blue.” I’m pretty sure there are other creatures in there just waiting to be discovered. I think I’ve encountered a starfish and a sea cucumber but I don’t have much data on them yet. Prolly on my next post, ill write down my personal diving history. I don’t dive around in PR a lot; I just go there and hope to see some good catch in my net. Not really successful, but I had bagged some. Teehee. I’m just looking for that something special, hopefully a narwhal. Heck, I might even discover new species soon. I’m not claiming to be an expert, but I believe I did a pretty good job. YAY for me! 

*Disclaimer: the creatures aforementioned are based on my own opinions and observations. No animals were harmed during the whole expedition.


  1. Very interesting post. I wonder in which category I'd find myself, if I were still in PR? :)

  2. hahaha. these are just my hypotheses and you can refute them if you like. hahaha :))

  3. Waw... ang effort naman, well detailed ung mga creatures of the sea.

  4. @juan: lol, i don't know. i don't really go "hi" to all the people there hahaha.

    @viktor: yep, effort is effort! i've been taking down notes and gathering data alot. :D

  5. @Juan, based from this "Nik nomenclature", i'd put you as a narwhal. Pwede ring a skinny whale. hehe

  6. bah. i'm a nomenclature now... yipeee!!!