earlier i was performing my duties as the Dish Washer. of course, it was piles and piles of dirty plates, cutleries, glasses, pots and pans which i have to manually wash. i’m not complaining though, because i know its my duty and avoiding my chore would mean that i’m trying to get away from responsibility.
to make this entry sensible, i have given up on my dream just to tend to my responsibilities as the eldest child in our family. i wanted to become a doctor, but because of financial constraints, i can’t be a doctor anymore. i know its sad, but i don’t have a choice. and being the eldest, even if its against my will, i have to support my sisters. there’s no way i can run away from that, i’m not a selfish kid anymore. maybe i’m maturing, but it doesn’t feel right to me. why am i the one who always compromises or compensates for the lack of what my parents can provide? im still a kid, i’m not even prepared to take on that whale of a responsibility. but i guess, i just have to. it’s what’s right and what’s moral.
i was able to finish the dishes, will i be able to still live for my dream? i don’t even care anymore. i lost hope, but then again, i toughed it all out. i’ll just have to bear with it, i know someday, karma will smile upon me. and hopefully i will not smell like dirty dishwater when that time comes.