Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Waxed Wicks and Candle Sticks

every year, my mom would make me a personalized candle for my birthday. she started doing that when i was 3. lavender is probably my favorite essential oil she would use to make it.

i would usually make a wax ball out of the drippings and scald my hands. my mom would get mad. fun but painful.

its also fun wetting your index finger and your thumb with saliva and hearing the sizzle from the smothered wick.

why does she make candles for my birthday? well partly because it is my birthday on the 2nd of november and partly because its All Soul's Day. kind of a 2-in-1 thing. i didn't mind. i got used to it. graveyards and gravestones don't scare me anymore. heck i even touch and manipulate cadavers and bones like its no big deal.

we celebrate my birthdays in the cemetery, paying homage to my dead grandfather, dead aunt (and her dead dog.)

this year, its different. no more candles. no more birthdays in the cemetery.

it should be fun right? not quite.

my mom is s/p(status: post) kidney transplant and only god knows how much longer we can sustain her meds and basically her life. honestly, i miss my candles. i really don't know what will happen to us if she passes away. i should be receiving my 20th candle tomorrow, but i am not expecting it anymore. there are things that i just don't impose anymore.

i really don't mind walking on top of graves for my birthday. i only wish that i could have more birthday candles from my mom. nothing else.

10 comments:

  1. aww.. leche ka!! pinapa-iyak mo ko.. ugh!! i'm so sorry to hear that.. :(

    happy birthday!! *hugs*

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  2. @nate: wag kang umiyak, ikaw ba yan ha? ha? haha. *troll mode*

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  3. @pointlessparanoia: hihihi. :P

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  4. I'm so sorry to hear that. :( I'd learn how to make candles if it'll make you feel better. :(

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  5. be optimistic :) im sure things will work out

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  6. Happy birthday, youngin. Now go blow your nose, dry your tears and smile. The world is smiling at you. :)

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  7. @nyl: haha don't worry. i'm fine. happy birthday to me. :P

    @herbs: i sure will. thanks! :P

    @grey: haha. am not crying. i feel like i'm God's Favorite Child right now. :)

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  8. my birthday wishes for you goes to your mom.

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