Calling You

it has been a week since i've started my SSRI treatment and as far as I can remember, it takes around 7-14 days for the drugs to work. apparently, i do feel better now.

what's funny is, remember when i wrote on my blog that i will never become a doctor since that shit about not affording med school and stuff? well guess what... they're now pushing me to be a doctor.

i was stoic at first, i didn't really believe that they were THAT serious. my granma is now selling our "hacienda" in Iloilo so that we can have money, so that i can become a doctor.

there's this saying that goes likes this:

"Kung ano ang para sayo, darating at darating din iyon."

apparently, it is true. they don't know how much i cried over and over about not going to med school and how much i envy my classmates that already took it. they don't know how much i've waited for my chance and my calling. they don't know how much i need and want this chance. i'm finally heeding my call.

i was just smiling and laughing when they told me that, but deep down inside of me, i was crying, screaming, partying, dancing, seizing(?), rolling on the floor and everything else.

now, im just preparing for the tests and requirements that i have to submit to my target schools while working on 12 hour shifts. yes, i am a good multi-tasker, patiently and silently making my moves like a ninja.

but i should not be all too ecstatic about it. i know there's an equally disappointing news that's about to come, i can just feel it in my veins. but nevertheless, i am happy and that's what matters now.