Oh the places you put it in.

Last Friday, my classmates from high school asked me out on a random dinner date. I obliged since I had no plans for that day actually.

I took the MRT to Trinoma. The trip was excruciatingly smelly. It smelled like a sweaty, oniony, musky dilapidated zoo inside the car of the train. I think a few of my neurons died in that 5 minute ride from Kamuning station to North Ave.

So there, we had dinner and got coffee. We're catching up on very important life changing topics(ie: sex, lovelife, work, more sex, and more lovelife.) when one of us popped the idea of getting drunk that night. I seconded the motion and voila they all ganged up on me. With grins on their faces, they coerced me to say yes. They wanted to go to O-bar Ortigas.

Oh dear god...

Well, after a litany of persuasive attempts, they caught me unguarded. I've never been to that bar, they all said it was prolly time to be "exposed" to such places. They are actually frequent flyers of the bar. I trust them.

I just wanted to get really drunk... like roaring, puking, rolling drunk. SHITFACED DRUNK FTW! I didn't need to pick up or get picked up; no need for social interaction with the crowd there. I have my own agenda it doesn't involve sex or making out. I went there to dance and drink myself crazy.

We got there around 12mn. I remember seeing a lot of smoke. I guess it was to cover up the uglies inside. IDK...

As soon as we stepped in, there were naked guys already, dancing on the darkest corners of the room. Guys(?) ogled and drooled. Quite expected.

We settled in the most spacious corner. We looked like yuppies, I looked like shit... well not really. It's just that I came from work and I felt sticky and sweaty already.  I looked like a dignified school kid.

So we got our first round of drinks and we already feel a couple of eyes going our group's way. We flicked our hair and wrists and shoo'd them away. Bitch mode was definitely on that night.

People started pouring in groups. There were the Thundercats, the gym-goers, the jejemons, the foreigners, the nerdies, the rich guys, the athletes and the good-looking ones. It was sad because the latter only had a few members... and they were already paired up with each other.

What the hell was I thinking?

Then girls came in! My eyes rolled to the back of their sockets, all the way to my occipital lobe. Oh, hell no.

So yeah, we danced in a very tight knit circle to prevent others from penetrating (no pun intended) our very posh(?) group.

It was getting cramped and then the music stopped and the lights went off. EVA PAPAYA CAME ON STAGE! OH MY FUCKING GOD! Can you imagine?! *insert sarcasm here*

DAFUQ?! SERIOUSLY?

My jaws unhinged and dropped on the floor. My brain did a triple backflip and a half twist in midair and fell on pile of rusty nails.

We went out to get smokes(and gum for me since I die with smoke) around 2am. We discussed things and they all laughed at me because I was freaking out inside. Then I thought, I must salvage this night. I need to enjoy.

We headed back with hands held together. As we were getting close to the bar to get our drinks, one my friends just shouted. "FUCK! WHERE'S MY WALLET!!!"

It seems that his wallet was pick-pocketed from his leather satchel bag. We went berserk.

We headed straight to the bouncers and reported the incident. Apparently, there were 4 similar incidents that happened that night. It was nothing new for them. It's like they just mocked us and I felt rage building inside my tummy.

I made a few calls and my friend had his ATM blocked right away. I swear, that bar will burn in a fiery mass of sulphuric destruction (no biblical implications intended.)

So there, officially the night was ruined. We cried and laughed at the same time. It was something very new to me and it was traumatizing. I don't think I will be going to that place ever again. Maybe, when security is as tight as a girl's vagina then okay, I might go back.

On the way out, I decided to go the restroom to freshen up. I saw 3 men making out. I averted my eyes and poof, 2 more guys making out. OH HELL NO! I did not sign up for this! I thought to myself.

No offense to those who go there frequently, but my first time just sucked balls... literally. Well, I think all my first times sucked balls.

I went inside my cab and thought this might just be a weird and stupid dream. It was like I was re-watching a very sad movie.

Shocked to the bones.