While I was eating dinner earlier, I got a text telling me that one of my super favorite teachers from high school had passed away. My heart sank and I couldn’t finish dinner.
I got so anxious I went on facebook to check on my classmates. Apparently, the said teacher was still alive but fighting for dear life. My grief still wasn’t relieved; to hear that you’re favorite teacher is already very ill is a little better than hearing her die. But, the point is, she is still on the brink of meeting her creator.
She was one of the few faculty members who supported our budding chorale group when I was still in high school. I wasn’t sure if it was just because she was a religion teacher or if she really did love our choir; I don’t care, she was there when we needed support and we are eternally grateful for that.
Ironically, when I was at work today, I was singing my favorite chorale piece: The Prayer of St. Francis. I remember that she also loved our group’s rendition of that song.
Was it a sign that she might be going through it all already?
I don’t know, but I do care. There’s this feeling of worry and sadness just digging in my innards. I really loved her gentleness and exuberance. I miss her and if ever the rumors were true, I would’ve cried tonight.
Then I realized, is it always necessary for someone to get terminally ill or dying to get my attention? Have I gone so insensitive, that I never cared catching up with my high school friends or teachers? Something must be wrong and I cannot blame anyone or myself.
Il signore, mirende uno strumento de la vostra pace…
Lord, make me. Make me an instrument of your peace…
- Prayer of St. Francis.
Maybe there's a devil, or something like it, inside of me.
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