Cauc(A)sian Dilemma

everyday, my eyes grow a little bluer and my hair grows a little blonder.

 its seems that every time that i try deviate from my destiny, it keeps on pulling me back to where i am right now. i have accepted that i can’t pursue medicine anymore, no matter how hard i want and need it.

so tomorrow morning, i’ll go file for my an affidavit of loss for both my high school and college diplomas cause my mom has stored them somewhere in which both of us can’t recall where exactly.

my uncle messaged me on facebook. he was quite irritated with all the dilly-dallying. i just didn’t tell him that i had no money to acquire my necessary documents to work abroad. i told him that i have to work so i can get my passport, clearances and diplomas. i have successfully saved enough dough to start the whole hulabaloo.

so there, my grandma wanted to sell her lot in Iloilo but that didn’t turn out well. the blueprints for my med school life was just trashed in 5 minutes.

anyways, the good news is, this might be the last christmas that i will be spending in the philippines and i’ll be earning freaking dollars so i can send them back home.

bad news is, i’ll be leaving everything behind; all the people i love and care about and all the things that i have learned to live by(ie. the pollution, school, grumpy old neighbors, slave-driving employers, sarcasm, etc…)

i really can’t tell if its a brand-new start or just the end, cause to me, its just a blur. i don’t really know where i’ll be in the future anymore and sadly, i don’t care anymore.

P.S. I am no literary genius, I just somehow manage to talk/type/read a lot.