Dimestore Diamond - Gossip

I finally got an offer for a job as a Private Duty Nurse for a post-stroke patient in the Metro. I’m pretty interested with the offer because it’s an easy job, plus the pay is absolutely rewarding. It’s like earning six thousand pesos just by babysitting a big baby for 12 hours only. The sad part about it is when the patient recovers, the contract ends. Not that I like the patient to be half paralyzed forever, but when he does, that means I’ll have to say goodbye to the family. I admit it; I’m in it because of the money.

Have I lost my altruism? I don’t know… maybe because people change. I need that money to pay for my test in order for me to work in a much better country. I am succumbing to the dire necessity to be the breadwinner of the lot. Plus, when I work abroad I can finally pursue my studies in medicine and genetic engineering. It’s hitting two birds with one stone of some sort.

But then again, what happened to my compassion? What happened to “I’d like to serve our countrymen, even if the pay is bad?” What happened to the pride and legacy of Florence Nightingale?

Am I being selfish? I guess I am, but at least now I know what I want. I’m not just letting it go, not this time. And this time I’m certain that I want to practice my diploma and then I’ll decide if I really want to be a doctor. From what I’m seeing though, I think I can be a doctor. I really miss staying up late, reading medical books and sipping coffee. From Florence Nightingale to McDreamy is what I I’m aiming for. Hello Hippocratic Oath. 

I’ve also decided that I’ll support my own dream since my parents can’t. I’m sorry but I’m not going to be dependent anymore. I just need enough runway space for me to take off and fly on my own. Taking the PDN job would prolly be the start of it. I’ve done enough soul-searching and I think it’s about time to earn my wings now.

It was an emotional turmoil of all sorts. Almost every time, I just blog all the pain away, because I did try to kill myself… thrice… with various OTC drugs... Nice, no?

I also got an offer at a contact center, yet again. This time it’s for a health insurance account with better pay than from where I’ve been. I’m having a lot of qualms about it. The vertigo and migraine that I developed during my employment in my previous company can come back as easily as this job offer is. It’s a stable job, yes. It gets lame and boring though. I’ll just keep this offer as a fall back option.

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I was a daydream, quiet and unseen
I lived in stories but inside I kept a mystery
I was a starling, nobody’s darling.
Flying in perfect circles just for company.

A midnight airplane, a window blowing
I know I am another sparkle in the sky
I shine in copper, still undiscovered.
But you might see me in the corner of your eye

And now I’m ready. I’m ready to be extraordinary.