Sayonara 2011, Konnichiwa 2012

I’ve been back reading on my blog and I can see how I changed within this year.

I started 2011 filled with optimism and positivity. I wanted to do things I have never done before and I did. But, they never really made me happy. I just did those stuff to get crossed off of my bucket list of things to do.

I have to say, 2011 was filled with all sorts of heartbreak for me; may it be in a romantic kind of way or if it involves my dreams and career path. For me this year was pretty much disappointing, but life goes on so I have to keep going on too. Like what I learned from Ze Pussykets, move on.

It isn’t totally a drag too. I had lots of fun. I met new friends through my blogs, twitter and just plain saying hi to random people while waiting in line for movie tickets.

Meet ups are the most interesting events if I must say so. People are expecting a lot and when they get to see what the real deal is they get shocked by how different persons/bloggers are in the flesh. I am quite guilty of this predicament.

What’s more important though is the time spent together to bond with people you are talking to over the Internet. It’s like you’ve been friends for a long time and you’re just catching up.

Not to mention, I love how I finally got to meet up with my friends back in college. We seriously haven’t seen each other after we graduated and that was like 3 years ago.

Lots of things changed. They changed, I changed, our lives changed. I’m still grateful even if I had a very shitty year.

I don’t wanna start next year with the same anticipation as I did this year. I might just end up disappointing myself again.

I just can’t wait for this year to be over as to signify the end of terrible time in my life.

I know things will get better or worse but I’ll just keep on living one day at a time.

Love a life I will divide

We found love in a hopeless place.


Happy 4th motherfucker!

Samedi et Dimanche

Last Saturday, i had 3 events to go to; the Tumblr MUMUL at MoA, my ex-wave mates pre-Christmas dinner at Glorietta 5 and my annual high school reunion. Honestly, I didn’t expect to have all three events in one night. If I could split my body into 3, I would definitely have no problems, but yeah, no can do. I had to tough it all out, in one night.

I met up with Avery and Gelo in BK Rotonda around 6pm. We got to MoA around 7-ish.

So there, we were expecting the other bloggers to be inside Starbucks. Avery got really frantic when there was no one inside, we only saw Marlon.

Apparently, they all went near the skating rink and we had to search for them. Fortunately, we saw them (Onny, Dale, JC, Ghen, Adee, Jed, Nikko, Kyo and I forgot schizotypical’s name, FML) … in a quaint little circle. So there, we said our hi’s and hello’s, I helped Avery look for a venue because Starbucks was full of social climbing people.

Congo Grille it is… I suspected alcohol and it didn’t fail me. YES! And then Ade and Noah came along.

2 bottles of San Mig Light. Rapture!

here’s the part where Nikki gets all tipsy

Gelo, Marlon and I decided to go already. Gelo had to go because he also has an event to go to the next day, Marlon was tired and I had to go to Makati.

I was calling my friends while we were on the bus. They said they already left. I almost died.

I headed straight to my friend’s house since I wasn’t able to go my ex-work mates pre-Christmas Dinner.

I got in and there was Kahlua, Red Horse, Bailey’s and Cuervo. I managed to solo the Kahlua. Drunkard much? Not really. Happy times.

I went home around 8am because the people in the party were falling down one by one like flies sprayed with Baygon.

I opened the telly when i woke up and BOOM, Sendong killed 700 people in just one night.

Was this some kind of a sick joke?

The Trolls Never Get Trolled Back

I received a text from someone. I really thought that it was from my high school classmate. His number was registered for someone I know very well.

He began asking me weird rumors. He asked me if I was with someone. Apparently, rumors were circulating that I was dating someone from college who was allegedly closeted (which I also am). Sadly, those were just rumors.

He began asking me for my iMessage account. I don't have one. I don't use an iPhone or an iPad. His texting pattern is also different from what I know; it was more intrusive than the friend that I know. I started to be skeptical about his identity.

So yeah I answered him truthfully and now he knows I swing both ways. Tsk, I never wanted him to find out because he is one of the people that I don’t really trust. Good thing I didn’t tell him everything and good thing I found out he wasn’t my high school classmate or I might have told him everything. It turns out that he was the one that we "outed" shamefully back in college (well, it wasn't our fault that he sold his phone to our classmate and when we tinkered with it, it had a ton of gay porn in its memory card). I don't know if this was his plot of revenge or whatever.

I am now beginning to doubt if it was a case of mistaken identity or he really does want to “out” me. Too bad, I’m still witty and I successfully maneuvered myself out of that pinch.

I asked him how he got my new number, he just answered that I texted him once. If my memory serves me right, I never texted him anything after I’ve changed my numbers. Hmmm...

Psych wars? Ha, its one alley he'll never beat me.

One thing I don't really understand is that how did his number show up as my friend's number.

dude, I’m sorry but I’ll tell it to people I only trust since it’s just been like 5 months since I’ve started dating guys. You’ll get hints from me but not the whole story yet.

Sorry brah.

You can never out-troll me.

Cauc(A)sian Dilemma

everyday, my eyes grow a little bluer and my hair grows a little blonder.

 its seems that every time that i try deviate from my destiny, it keeps on pulling me back to where i am right now. i have accepted that i can’t pursue medicine anymore, no matter how hard i want and need it.

so tomorrow morning, i’ll go file for my an affidavit of loss for both my high school and college diplomas cause my mom has stored them somewhere in which both of us can’t recall where exactly.

my uncle messaged me on facebook. he was quite irritated with all the dilly-dallying. i just didn’t tell him that i had no money to acquire my necessary documents to work abroad. i told him that i have to work so i can get my passport, clearances and diplomas. i have successfully saved enough dough to start the whole hulabaloo.

so there, my grandma wanted to sell her lot in Iloilo but that didn’t turn out well. the blueprints for my med school life was just trashed in 5 minutes.

anyways, the good news is, this might be the last christmas that i will be spending in the philippines and i’ll be earning freaking dollars so i can send them back home.

bad news is, i’ll be leaving everything behind; all the people i love and care about and all the things that i have learned to live by(ie. the pollution, school, grumpy old neighbors, slave-driving employers, sarcasm, etc…)

i really can’t tell if its a brand-new start or just the end, cause to me, its just a blur. i don’t really know where i’ll be in the future anymore and sadly, i don’t care anymore.

P.S. I am no literary genius, I just somehow manage to talk/type/read a lot.

グッバイがハピネス

I have been out of the blogging loop lately, or its just that i'm not that active on blogspot. i have been blogging on my tumblr because its much easier to put something on your tumblog.

well the good news is, i didn't have panic attacks during the past weeks, thanks to my medication and cognitive behavioral therapy.

for the bad news, i just left my work because of a terrible boss. i wasn't able to get my salary for the whole month of november. i just got the whole lump sum today and i said that i'm not going back to work anymore.

anyways, things have been quite rough and vapid this year. as far as i know, this is really not my year according to the chinese astrological zodiac signs. (hahaha)

i'm just itching for this year to end and leave everything behind. and i mean everything...

************

So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can’t plant me in your penthouse
I’m going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh I’ve finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road