How To Date Like A Milennial

image found on a friend's Twitter page

So I haven't written anything for the last 3 years??? I don't know. I haven't really had anything to write about. Life is swell to be really honest. Maybe I'll write about it some other day when I even find time. If you can notice, this is just a quick post of random shit I find peculiar and interesting.

I came across this image on twitter and basically it concisely systematizes how to date/flirt/hook-up a la millennial. I have seen people struggle their hardest in the dating scene. It's like seeing baby seals getting clubbed to death. It is that bad and brutal. I am not gonna name drop because I might just be throwing shade in general. *insert Miranda Priestly GIF*

So here, I found a quirk sheet/flowchart of some sort. IT IS VERY RELEVANT AND TIMELY. It's not overly sappy. It's not overly dramatic. It's like the updated Sex and The City conversations.

I guess I just wanted to post this up somewhere for future references. I don't know. Maybe it can help you and your friends in need too? HAHA.

This is to be filed under things I find on the internet. Also, my good friend is single and would very much like to try this flowchart out. Send me a message on twitter if you're interested. ;)

Sensory Overload

It was hot as hell when I woke up. I was covered in sweat and so was my sheets. It felt different that day, like some sort of a weird car accident waiting to happen.

I went down to do Yoga and my morning routine. I prepared a bowl of oatmeal and bananas for breakfast. I tried to turn the TV on but to no avail, it didn't. I checked on my electric fan, it wasn't working either. Dad forgot to pay the electric bill and our service got cut before I even woke up.

I lied on the couch and manually fanned myself. It wasn't working. I thought to myself: maybe a bath will do the trick. And so I did.

I wore a very loose shirt and very short boxers. It was sort of a relief but I found myself fanning again after an hour.

Then I decided to get out of the house. Quite the wrong move actually. It was friggin' hotter outside with the sun beaming down me like there's no tomorrow. I had to wear longer shorts because my legs would stun everyone in the outside world. I looked for shade, I ran to the store.

To my amazement, the guy who was manning the store was cute. He was short, fair and had a very nice set of teeth. He has this very confident air about him and he knows it. Fuck, he's cute!!! Then the weirdest thing DID happen.

"Ano bibilihin mo? Ang init init ah. Ano gusto mo?" in a very you-know-you-want-me-or-it kind of way while he was sheepishly smiling.

I was speechless, I didn't know how to react. I WAS STUMBLING. For someone who deals with all sorts of people and for someone who has swagger, I was failing.

"Ah wala naman... Meron bang palamig? Haha..." I was trying to feel my pockets if I had any change with me. I had  about 3 pesos?

Then, he nodded. He stared at the very puzzled looking kid(me) and began to smirk.

"Halika dito, may iaalok ako sayo." he was smirking like he is on to something.

OH FUCK, WHAT NOW?!!!


"Uh, thanks na lang. Uuwi na ko. Naputulan kasi kami ng kuryente. Hindi nabayaran ni Daddy eh. Mukang tanga lang ako sa bahay." Woops... Why was I telling him details about my life?!!!

"Ah, san ka ba nakatira? Marunong ako mangalikot ng mga kuntador. Tatanggalin ko lang yung wire na kinakabit para tumigil yung ikot ng metro." He seemed to become more interested with the fact that we had no electricity. Oh good...

"Ay wag na po, pinabayaran ko na kay Daddy yun. Baka magkaroon na kami ulet ng kuryente."

"Naku nag cut-off na kaya, baka sa Monday pa ikabit ulet yan."

"Ah ganun ba? Hmm, eh wala ako pangbayad sayo. Wala parents ko, tsaka pumasok sa school mga kapatid ko."

"Hindi sige okay lang yan, mahilig lang talaga ako mangalikot... Hehe..." That just sounded so wrong on many levels...


He called on their house-help to man the store for him.


So I decided to let him tinker with the meter. We live in an apartment handed down by my paternal grandmother and the meter was not inside the house per se, so I guess it was quite safe. I think he might kill me or steal something inside our house or worse, HE MIGHT RAPE ME...(?)

I went inside the house to check if the service was back. I tried to switch the lights on, it flickered and turned off again. CRAP!!!


"Putangina, nawala, ano na nangyari?!" I yelled

"Try mo i-reset yung circuit breakers sa loob ng fuse box niyo."

"Okay...?" I panicked because I have no idea where our fuse box is. I just thought, I'll just tough it out. I don't want to invite him inside our house.

"Nahanap mo ba?"

"Hinde..."

"Pasok ako ha, tulungan kita..." and he came barging in while I was holding on to my flashlight like it was a sword.

He found the fuse box inside our cupboards, only he wasn't able to reach it... HA!!! LOOK AT YOU NOW Mr. HIGH AND MIGHTY. So, in the end, I was able to reset the circuit breakers and the electricity was running again. Thanks to my height advantage over him. I felt more macho than him. Nikki - 1, Him - 0.

"Wow, ikaw na matangkad." He commented.

"HAHAHA, pungok ka lang." I laughed out.

"Salamat ah, nanglait pa. Ikaw na nga tinulungan."

"Aw, sorry dude. Haha." Then he disarmed me again with that smile.

"Oh dapat bayaran mo na ko. Penge ako tubig."

"Hindi kaya malamig, nawalan kaya kami ng kuryente..." I said sarcastically.

"Ay oo nga, punta ka muna sa tindahan namin. Libre mo ko. Hehehe." WAIT WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?


"Ha?! 3 piso na lang pera ko. Sabi ko sayo wala akong pambayad." 

***to be continued***